How Perfectionism Shows Up in Career Decisions
You need to stop being a perfectionist in your career decisions, because I’m willing to bet that it’s having a negative impact.
I work with a lot of self-identified “high achievers”, which means that I also tend to work with a lot of perfectionists. I’ve struggled with perfectionism before too. I know the type, and I know just how damaging this behavior can be. So, if you’re thinking, “what’s the big deal, how does this impact me anyways?”. Read on.
As a career clarity coach, my focus is on helping clients clarify their true wants and needs for their career. What kind of work would feel fulfilling to them, what actually matters to them, how they define success, etc etc. Once we’ve clarified what they actually want, we inevitably get to the part of the conversation where we say “well what does that mean from here?”. We discuss whether there’s a way for them to adjust their existing role to be more fulfilling, whether they can change teams or disciplines within their organization, whether they want to look for another role within the same industry, or whether they want to leave their current path behind all together. When we’re at this phase of the conversation, though, I sometimes see perfectionism rear its ugly head.
Typically what that looks like is the client getting hyper-fixated on making the “right” choice, so much so that it feels impossible to make any choice. They feel paralyzed by fear, and anxious about doing the wrong thing. Ouch.
A lot of this, in my experience (and my opinion as someone who has struggled with perfectionism), is because perfectionists tend to wrestle with black and white thinking. They think to themselves, “There is a RIGHT choice, and there is a WRONG choice…so I’d better make sure I make the right choice!” Whether it’s for fear of embarrassing themselves in front of others or simply disappointing themselves, they double down on the pressure to do the “right” thing. As a result, they end up in a place of complete and utter inaction.
So, you’re reading along and this feels like you, I want to share 3 reminders for you:
You’re not making a decision any easier by fixating on the “right thing”. In fact, you’re making it wayyyyyy harder for yourself! Obsessing over this keeps you stuck in fear. What you need, friend, is action. (Intentional, thought out action, but action nonetheless)
All you can do (in any situation) is make the best decision for you right now based on everything you know. That’s it. You can’t possibly know every single outcome of a decision, unless you’ve got a crystal ball that you’re willing to share. Therefore, there is a level of trust required. In these situations, I’ve found that it’s helpful to center back on trusting and relying on yourself, and remembering that if you make a decision that you no longer are on board with down the road, you can decide again. While there are, of course, implications of your choices, this is not a blood oath. The only way out is through and forward.
When it comes to career decisions, we’re not looking for the “perfect job”. We’re looking for the career decision that’s “perfect for you”. Those are two very different things. That’s why it’s so important to focus on yourself and your needs, and lean into trust.
How do those reminders feel as you read through them? Is there one that particularly stands out? If so, I would love to hear it in the comments!
Remember: you’re not moving anything forward by agonizing over the “right” choice, you’re simply cementing yourself in that frustrating, stuck, overwhelming place. Shift into intentional action instead. I bet you’ll be glad you did!
P.S. If you want support working on perfectionism in your career decisions and you’re struggling to get un-stuck, I’m here to help! You can send me an email at Chris@BeEmpoweredAchievers.com and catch me up on what’s been going on. We’ll hop on a call and dig in together. :)