The High Pedestal (and frightening fall) of Praise-Addiction in High Achievers
Do you feel like you need endless amounts of praise from your boss in order to feel confident that you’re not about to be fired? ...And even then, you worry that you might be at risk?
If so, you’re in good company.
Many high achievers struggle with a “praise addiction”: being all-consumed by their endless need for praise at work. They need continuous affirmation from their higher ups that they’re delivering great work, and unfortunately, it’s never quite enough.
There are 2 main issues with a praise addiction:
It leads to a “treadmill of gold stars” approach to your career
It puts you on a high pedestal, which feels increasingly more frightening to “fall from” over time
Let’s dig into those challenges.
The treadmill of gold stars
A huge issue with “praise addiction” is that the folks who struggle with it begin to use it as their only factor for confidence in their work. As a result, once they start receiving that praise, it’s impossible to hear less of it. They develop a need for the same baseline of affirmation every day, and then over time they need more and more to really “believe” it. I visualize this as a treadmill of gold stars, where you’re constantly running and trying to get your next “hit” of affirmation, but there’s no true end state. You become reliant on others to provide your confidence at work, and never develop it internally for yourself!
The high pedestal
Beyond the pursuit of more and more affirmation, another major challenge for high achievers is that this puts them on a pedestal. As a community member said, “the affirmation is needed, but also it makes me more anxious because I anticipate a ‘fall’ at some point”.
Ouch.
It’s a challenge facing overachievers in general: beginning to see their identity as this “high performer” on the team, and then frantically working to uphold that image. In the short-term, being a “superstar” is great! Who wouldn’t like feeling like that? But in the long-term, this superstar image on your team can sometimes become a crippling, heavy role to bear. With each day and each accomplishment, you become more and more fearful of dropping the ball and losing the name you’ve established for yourself.
Does this ring true for any of you?
In my experience, a lot of praise addiction seems to be based on a combination of anxiety and self-worth issues. As a result, the natural counter to this issue is working on your confidence and self-worth when it comes to your career.
Should I do a part 2 digging into how I’ve combatted my “praise addiction” over time? Let me know in the comments below!
Here’s to no longer thinking of your high achiever status as your identity!
