The 3 Fears Holding You Back From A Happier Career
I’ve spoken with a lot of folks these last 5.5 years who are hoping for a happier and more fulfilling career. They’re desperate for the kind of role that fits them like a glove, seamlessly suiting their lives. They want their work to feel like it’s a perfect match for them, versus shape-shifting themselves in order to fit the job required.
So, what’s stopping them?!
There are likely several factors, but today I want to share with you the top 3 fears I hear that are hindering people from attaining this goal. So if you’ve been hoping and praying for a more aligned and engaging career to no avail, read on to find out if you’ve been believing one of these common fears.
The top 3 fears I hear:
“I don’t want to start over!”
For a lot of the folks I work with, they’ve spent time establishing themselves in their current industry. They often have successful roles, at least on paper. This puts them in a rather precarious position, because as much as they want to feel more engaged and fulfilled by their work, they’re scared of having to start from scratch! “Will I have to start at the bottom and work my way back up again!?”“What if it’s just me? What if there’s nothing I’d like more?!”
This fear is kind of like standing in front of a door and refusing to open it because you’re scared of what’s on the other side. For a lot of people, they’re frightened to think too deeply about what would make them happier out of fear of what they’ll find, or that they possibly can’t have it. They worry that it’s just them that’s broken, and they’ll never feel engaged at work. They think to themselves, “Yeah, it’s painful to not do work I like, but it’s all I know! Wouldn’t it be way more painful to ask myself the tough questions and find out that there’s nothing I enjoy? Or to figure out what I want and realize I’m never able to get it?!” Ouch. This fear sometimes manifests itself in the form of “pseudo-committing” as I call it, half committing to figuring out what you want without ever 100% going for it out of fear of failure. And yeah, it’s not great…“It’s better the devil I know than the one I don’t!”
This fear somewhat combines the concerns of #1 and #2. For people who are struggling with this “better the devil” mentality, they’re fearful of leaving the comfort of their known job. As an alum of mine put it, “My work could be better, but it could also be worse! If I was at a 2 out of 10 in terms of happiness, this would be an easier decision to make. Since I’m at a 6 out of 10, though, it feels scarier!” Right?! How on earth are you supposed to leave something that’s technically good on paper to pursue the unknown? It feels terrifying.
Some other common fears I hear:
Fear of salary impact (“I make great money at this job, how am I supposed to give that up?!”)
Fear of what other people will think if you make a job or career change.
Fear of learning new things (“I’m established at my role and am the go-to expert on things. Do I really want to be the newbie somewhere else?!”)
Fear that you’ll make the wrong choice (because you’ve clearly made a “wrong choice” before, so how can you ever trust yourself again?!)
Any of those sound familiar? Let me know in the comments which resonate most with you.
Here’s the thing, though, y’all: these fears aren’t entirely warranted. So let’s do a brief myth-busting of the top 3:
Fear of starting over
There’s several reasons as to why this one isn’t true. First and foremost: you typically have more work experience than when you started out in your industry, so there are probably certain things that will transfer. Beyond that, though, there’s also the option of career pivots, which are much easier to do than full 180 degree career changes! Pivots are those side-steps and adjustments that allow you to lean into the bits of the work that you enjoy and are engaged by, and out of the bits that you don’t and aren’t your strong point. So while you’re assuming that a complete reset is the only option, know that a pivot might be able to help you reach your goals without “starting over”!Fear that it’s “just you”
This is what I call the “secret fear”. It’s one of the most prevalent, but least admitted, ones. A lot of people are worried that there’s something wrong with them and they’ll never be happy, but let me start by assuaging those doubts and telling you: for all of my times hearing this, I’ve never personally found someone who was right! The way I explain purpose is like a hedge maze with a lovely fountain in the middle… Maybe when you’re starting out the maze it feels like there’s no center. You can’t see it, so how could it be there?! But as you get closer and closer, you’ll catch a glimpse of it and realize it was there all along.
To be human is to inherently have passions and interests and engagement. So while you might be feeling really out of touch with those interests right now due to burnout or due to not identifying them, it doesn't mean that there’s nothing there! It just means you’re father out from the center of the maze. ;)Fear of the unknown
Last but not least, the fear of the devil you don’t know! Ultimately, a lot of this concern comes back to the fear of the unknown. “I’m not happy, but at least I know what I’m dealing with here!”. Here’s the deal though, friend: you’re comparing a known to an unknown, and that’s never a fair fight. You’re essentially comparing the known (your current job and your current level of satisfaction) to mystery door #2, and you’re thinking to yourself, “door 2 could be better, but it could also be worse!”. Do you see why that’s not a fair comparison? In this situation, you have 0 proof or information that tells you the alternative is worse, so you’re comparing “the devil you know” to the worst case scenario in your mind, neglecting the fact that the alternative could actually instead be the best case scenario!
An empowered choice is an informed choice, which is why I think it’s so important to research what the alternative to the devil you know could be. It doesn’t mean you have to commit to making the change, but by at least looking into it, you could end up with something more beautiful than you ever imagined.
So, did that myth busting help? Let me know, and if it did, please pass it along to a friend who needs to hear it. Because as unique and isolating as these fears may feel sometimes, you are certainly not alone in them.
To fighting our fears!
P.S. If you’re finally ready to move through some of the fears holding you back from a happier career, our final group program of 2022, Purpose Chasers TOGETHER, begins September 12! Click here to apply for a free call to see if it’s a good fit. xx